


Newlyweds

by NB_Cecil



Series: October OTP Ficlets [27]
Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Coitus Interruptus, Humiliation, Implied Sexual Content, Implied kink, Implied situational humiliation kink, M/M, Wedding Night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2019-08-07 20:07:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16415075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NB_Cecil/pseuds/NB_Cecil
Summary: A sort-of sequel toA GiftandCeremonial Costume: Poor Picard faces yet another humiliation when his wedding night is interrupted.





	Newlyweds

Jean-Luc Picard emerges from the bathroom, towel around his waist, yawning.

 

“That’s it. We’re married.” He drops the towel to the floor and slips between the sheets beside his new husband.

 

“Indeed we are.” Data replies, a half-smile playing round his lips. “It is customary in many cultures for newlyweds to engage in coitus on their wedding night. However, it has been a long day and you are somewhat intoxicated. Therefore I would not be offended if you preferred to sleep immediately.”

 

“Data,” Jean-Luc leans over and kisses the Android languorously on the lips, “We only get one wedding night and I fully intend to enjoy it.”

 

“Very well.” Data returns the kiss and they slide down the bed, limbs twining, mouths searching hungrily for each other in the dim light.

 

“Well, this is cozy.”

 

They spring apart, Jean-Luc sitting up, pulling the sheet up over his chest as he does so.

 

“Q!” He turns to the naked figure lying, head propped on one hand, stretched out atop the duvet beside him. “This is highly inappropriate.”

 

“You didn’t think I’d miss your wedding, did you?” Q enquires, face a picture of innocence.

 

“It did occur to me that you may choose to make an appearance today.” Data responds.

 

Jean-Luc scowls. “You could have turned up at the reception like all the other guests.”

 

“Ah, but you didn’t invite me, _Mon Capitan_.”

 

“You weren’t exactly top of our guest list.” Jean-Luc snaps.

 

“Well, I’m here now and I bring you a wedding gift.” Q reaches behind his back and produces an elaborately wrapped object.

 

“We do not require gifts.” Data protests.

 

“He’s not going to leave until he’s humiliated us with whatever nasty little plan he has.” Jean-Luc turns to the Android. “Let’s just play along and get rid of him quickly.”

 

“Humiliate you, eh? I hear you are...” Q smirks. “... _partial_ to a little humiliation, My dear Captain.”

 

Jean-Luc’s eyes widen. “How do you—?”

 

“Very well.” The Android interrupts, ignoring Q.

 

“At least put some clothes on.” Jean-Luc address Q again.

 

The omnipresent being clicks his fingers and the familiar red _Starfleet_ command uniform, complete with captain’s insignia, appears on his body. “Now, your wedding gift.” He offers the present again. Jean-Luc snatches it, glowering. “Where are your manners? I want to see you open it _together_.” He admonishes.

 

Picard sighs and offers Data one end of the gift. They pull at the ribbon and peel back the paper to reveal a black velvet-covered box.

 

“What could this _possibly_ be?” Jean-Luc‘s tone drips sarcasm.

 

“Why don’t you open it and find out?” Q can barely contain his gleeful anticipation.

 

Jean-Luc and Data share a look of trepidation then Data lifts the hinged lid to reveal...

 

“Butt plugs.” The Android observes, raising his eyebrows. “An interesting choice.”

 

Jean-Luc lifts his hands to his face.

 

“Yes, a set of twenty-one in graduated sizes.” Q informs. “I hear the Captain rather enjoys being _stretched_.” He draws out the last word, making eye-contact with the horrified Jean-Luc as he does so. The Captain looks daggers at him through the gaps between his fingers. “Congratulations to the happy couple.” Snapping his fingers again, Q grabs a champagne bottle from thin air with one hand as a tray with three flutes appears on the outstretched other. “A toast!” He pours.

 

“Get _out_!” Jean-Luc shoves him roughly off the bed.

 

“As you wish.” Q replies, picking himself off the floor. “Goodbye, love-birds!” With a regal wave of his hand Q, the glasses, and champagne vanish.

 

“That was an unexpected interruption.” Data comments, closing the lid and placing the box carefully on the bedside table. “However, Q’s gift was unexpectedly thoughtful.”

 

“ _What_?” Jean-Luc cries, face flushing crimson. “It was designed to cause me maximum embarrassment.”

 

“That may be,” Data reasons, reaching again for the box. He opens it, examines the contents for a moment, then extracts a butt plug. “Take this one, for example.” He holds it up for his husband to see. “I believe its girth is most likely to provide you with optimum stretch without causing discomfort or pain.”

 

“Put it down. Please.” Jean-Luc implores, still mortified.

 

Data shrugs, replaces the plug in its divot in the box’s interior, closes the lid and returns it to its place on the bedside table. “I understand you do not wish to speak of Q’s gift again tonight. Now, where were we...?” He turns back to his husband.

 

“It’s no use. He’s thoroughly killed the mood.” Jean-Luc complains, turning away.

 

_Mission accomplished!_ Q’s triumphant disembodied voice echoes round the bedroom.

**Author's Note:**

> October OTP Fics Day 26: “getting married”.


End file.
